Once Upon A Time, in Wisconsin...

There was a place called The Gobbler.

The motel's design was a unique spoked "Prairie" style semicircle; luxurious purple, red, blue and pink shag carpeting graced many of the Gobbler's surfaces in its early-1970's heyday, a period when grooviness meant a bedroom covered floor-to-ceiling in the stuff.

Every detail - from lavender vinyl dining room upholstery to built-in 8-track stereos [in the "business suites" - as if we couldn't guess what sort of "business" was conducted in a motel room with a red shag-covered heart-shaped bed] exemplified over-the-top kitsch luxury.

Staying at the Gobbler, a traveler could enjoy hip sleepquarters, and then roll downhill for fine dining specializing in Meleagris gallopavo at the matching Gobbler restaurant. That would be - ahem - gobbler, because Clarence Hartwig Sr., the original owner of the complex, was a well-known Wisconsin turkey farmer.

Some people believe every object contains a bit of the energy of everyone that came in contact with it: considering its rich lore, that alone would have been enough reason to keep the Gobbler standing. Sure, we can't keep every old building - we'd be overrun with collapsing hulks in a few generations. Still, we can try to remember the interesting, the adventurous, and the unique. The Gobbler certainly was all of those.

Don't forget to stop by the recently-updated (April 2005) Gobbler Links section, with connections to fresh news stories on the Gobbler Motel and Restaurant!

Down, But Not Exactly Out

We beging our story in October 2001, when the circular Gobbler Motel looked down, but not exactly out. The siding was cracking, yellow-brown weeds shot up in unlikely places (like windowsills), and the blue landscaping gravel surrounding the entries was peppered with beer bottles and cigarette butts: the Gobbler had sunk to a nighttime make-out hangout for the locals. Tellingly, a black flocked plastic-letter board toothily revealed chunks of the motel's newest name:

WELC M O KING RTH 'SINN.

V S A N M ST C D ACCE TED.

Purple Windows and Shag, Shag, Shag.

In fact, the Gobbler had been renamed King Arthur's Inn several years ago. Walking around the low-slung, swoopy perimeter gave one a view of the exterior-situated rooms, some visible through parted curtains (with the exterior glass shielded by purple-tinted Lucite™) - most of the legendary shag carpeting was long since replaced by more serviceable (and hygienic) indoor-outdoor pile, but the fake stone interior was essentially intact - giving the impression of a cheapie Mod Adirondack ski lounge.

The rear part of the motel, where the swimming pool and shuffleboard court once were was also in dire need of attention; two glass doors, uncloseable because of some mechanical flaw were secured with a thick chain and an ordinary padlock. Every room was dotted with miscellaneous leavings and debris, like carpet remnants, empty paint buckets, and wood scrap. Not the sort of property that screams "DEVELOP ME!"

Abandoned!

We spotted the fabled "eyeball" railings as we peered through the smudged glass doors of the lobby (see the photo at the top of this page). As you can see, the interior was done in a hunter-green duotone motif, a la Wal-Mart, circa 1990. You can see a triangular brass colored lighting fixture on the faux stone (well, maybe it was Z-Brick™ - I didn't get a chance to touch it for myself) fireplace, which itself was composed of metallic bars wedged between its upper and lower section, possibly to suggest "flames".

The white object in the lower left hand corner is an abandoned laundry cart. You know someone left in a real hurry when you find a half-empty laundry cart in front of the lobby door. There must have been an ill wind in store - perhaps a frosty Wisconsin one, redolent of cow belches.

Stone Faux Fireplace

Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but ultimately what made the Gobbler so perversely appealing isn't just its extreme appearance.
It was the motel's air of mystery.
After all, what on earth could have made people up and leave in such a hurry that even the tourist-trap brochures remain stacked on the lobby desk?

UFO? Or Restaurant??

The Gobbler Restaurant had been reopened early 2002 under the name "Round Stone Restaurant": the cuisine is best described as classic American Diner, but the interior was restored to a good measure of its former glory. We stopped by for coffee and dessert one evening on the way back from Madison. Fortuitously, when we expressed our archival curiosity to the maitre-d', we were given a brief tour of the restaurant.

Redone in a subtle late-80's jewel tone theme, the foyer sported two large circular "couches" divided crosswise into four equal seating sections to greet waiting patrons. A decorative fountain worthy of a Las Vegas Chinese eatery dominated the lobby; artificial palm trees and orange-and-fuchsia lotus blossoms frolicked with the pink plastic flamingoes ensconced there, like some bizarre Botticelli's Venus.

Eye Of The Gobbler

How groovy! How positively shagadelic!

Some of the overstuffed white vinyl seats at the bar were - gasp - loveseats! Imagine - two swinging lovebirds could cozy up to the bar ("belly up" isn't quite the right image) and sip Long Island Iced Teas while spinning around the room. You wouldn't be able to tell if your vertigo was induced by the booze or the orbiting bar.

The "Royal Roost" loft wasn't open for business at the moment, but we did get a chance to see it for ourselves - after climbing the Brady-Bunch-Era steps, we saw the interior was still covered in a lavender shag, with a built-in bar and circular dance floor - and, not mentioned in previous literature - a one-way mirror connected to the adjacent upstairs manager's office, no doubt to discourage any hanky-panky in the loft (or more likely, to enable discreet spying). Sadly, the Roost's primary function is now for mere storage of essentials like glassware and table napkins.

A visit to the ladies' room was an adventure in itself: it was shaped like a wedge, with no right angles in sight (probably a bit disorienting after a few drinks) and wallpapered with red, purple and gold butterfly-design paper, it made everything else in the place seem almost conservative by comparison.